The Wisdom of Flow

In The Obstacle is the Way, author Ryan Holiday devotes an entire book to the famous quote in Meditations by the revered Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius.

Our actions may be impeded. But there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt, the mind converts and adapts to its own purposes the obstacles to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.

~ Marcus Aurelius

For masculine energy, an obstacle provides an opportunity to advance toward a goal. It inspires the required action to overcome what stands in the way and achieve the intended outcome. Feminine energy responds to obstacles the way water moves toward and around a boulder in the stream. It enters a flow state and taps into creativity to find the path of least resistance.

The women who were brought up by feminists and taught that the obstacle to their success is the patriarchy, have made what they believe stands in the way…their way. Instead of utilizing their creativity and wisdom of flow, they embarked on a punishing ordeal of some version of, “If you can’t beat ’em, join them”. Or, “Anything you can do I can do better”.

It’s been truly disappointing to see the almost complete lack of feminine energy in the female entrepreneur/woman owned business space.  And consciousness.  And values that honor what matters to women, the needs of children and the sovereignty of humanity.

Instead of creating a business and life THEY love, these self-titled badass biz babes and girl boss bitches, model themselves and their businesses after men they were taught to admire and respect. And they measure their success by the very patriarchal standards of industry dominance and recognition, bottom lines and best sellers, world records and biggest dicks their feminist ideology loves to hate.  

Of course, they like to contradict themselves too, because they know there is just something not quite right about living their life and conducting their business this way. They brag about their 6 figure months while displaying a pink pussy hat of the victimized and oppressed woman as their profile pic. They take an IG filter perfected selfie from their exotic retreat location with the newest fashion statement of mind control, the crocheted muzzle…in a color to match their expensive, resort jumpsuit while decrying the abuses of power of the dark patriarchy. They follow the same marketing strategies and automate the click funnels they learned from their male role models while condemning men’s competitive ambition, aggressive moves and unethical business practices and desire to win at any cost…to their health, morals, marriage and even loss of their lives. They employ the very effective tactics of motivating action by pushing on pain points, threatening potential customers with a bad case of FOMO and initiating the scarcity mindset to fill their once a year, limited time only courses with repeated reminders about “closing the doors” on sales page countdowns during launch season, while promising to help them with their severely flawed, unhealed and self-sabotaging money mindset and overcoming the very fear they used to convince people to join their super expensive program with a convincing “zero risk, no questions asked, money back guarantee”.

The hypocrisy of it all not only affects their credibility, it eventually erodes their own self-respect and leads to a crisis of consciousness. Many continue on for years in a battle with their divine feminine self to somehow find a balance. Because they’re making the big bucks. But at some point the desire to create from an authentic place will win or make it too painful to keep calm and carry on.

As their followings grow on social media, they start using their platforms to promote their socialist ideals of a totalitarian utopia, indulge their desire to post their TDS rants, grant their Rage Monster a point of personal privilege to vent their seething hatred. They jump on all the same stories they see from their favorite corporate news channels they admit to obsessively watching, and whip out their phones so they can express their righteous outrage and demand justice, almost word for word, identical to every other social justice warrior of their ilk, like the pre-programmed minions they are.

Instead of choosing to walk a path that honors the four phases of their feminine energy, the needs of their physical vitality and emotional wellbeing and their unique gifts, talents and skillsets, they adopt and emulate a masculine approach to becoming a self-made millionaire or industry expert, thought leader or Fortune 500 business owner…by any means necessary. They give advice to other women trying to achieve the same high levels of success with tweetables like “Everything is figureoutable” and ludicrous claims on podcasts that “Your email list is EVERYTHING!”  (Um, no…sometimes it’s ok to let things go instead of forcing them to come together.  There is wisdom in recognizing when the energy is not a match or the timing is off. And no one goes into business to write sales pitches and harassing emails to stuff people’s inboxes with everyday.)

Instead of creating original works of art, connecting with like minds and beautiful souls and contributing to their community, they ask, “What would Gary do?” Or, they follow fire-walking multi-millionaire moguls and jet setting divine living self-proclaimed queens around the globe. Or, fantasize about being invited to play with the big boys in their games and at their clubs and taking a seat at the table in their board rooms. Or, name drop their associations with corrupt politicians, criminal corporations and compromised celebrities, they will soon come to regret. Or, vision boarding about island hopping with the rich and famous or being the next Richard Branson.  

Instead of honoring their needs for love and family, they don’t get married or have children. Apparently, there’s plenty of time for that…until there’s not. Or, they’re not ready yet. Or, now is not a good time. FYI: It NEVER is!

So, they put off relationships indefinitely and delay starting a family intentionally. Or, they serial date and shack up in uncommitted relationships during their quickly closing window of child-bearing years. Or, if they do get married, they choose to be childless or struggle with infertility because they aren’t healthy enough to conceive without medical intervention. 

Or, if they do have children, they don’t actually care for them and raise their babies themselves. No. Children don’t actually need mothers. And mothers don’t actually want to be with their children. They have REAL jobs they get paid REAL money for. When it comes to the minimum wage job of just “keeping the tiny humans alive”…there are people for that.

Eventually, as they mature, they drop the demeaning names of babe, badass and bitch, but hold on to the masculine work mode and male standards of success…that is until they get burnt out by the daily grind of the male 24 hour circadian rhythm clock. And get sick and tired before choosing to start honoring their 28 day infradian rhythm of cyclical phase and flow. 

And that’s when flow can become the way. The way back to honoring your divine feminine energy. The way forward to creating a life that truly honors your authentic self. The way toward finding your area of expertise, your voice, your niche, your tribe.

Because…

The world needs that special gift that only YOU have.

~ Marie Forleo

And the next BIG thing is doing your own thing.

You can value deep meaning and soul purpose, creative expression and personal satisfaction over results and numbers. You can make the changes your heart and soul, mind and body are screaming at you to make. You can choose to honor your precious energy and unique qualities, personal health and wellbeing. You can review your intentions and desires, change your focus and shift your priorities. You can tap into your womb wisdom and empower yourself by embracing the feminine way of cycles and phases, rhythm and flow.

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Dara Eden is a Wisdom KeepHER, intuitive energy healer, classical feng shui expert and The 8 Elements Master. She enlightens girls and women with an awareness of their divine feminine and unique personal energy, empowers them with the knowledge of conscious conception and fertility responsibility and inspires them with womb wisdom.